Love versus NEED

So I went to church today and the preacher briefly mentioned a point I seem to have heard in different perspective. Marrying someone that NEEDS you can be disastrous! This seems to be a form of debate to a lot of people because they feel they should be needed in their relationships. which is true to an extent.

My main purpose of this post is to show that it is unhealthy to marry someone because you need them or they need you; even in relationships/friendships. Usually anyone can fulfil your need because it carries a broad category but not everyone can genuinely be in love with you. For instance any sugar daddy/mummy (broad category) can provide for you but not satisfy you in terms of Love. The kind of NEED I am talking about is for instance a guy sees a girl from a wealthy background and decides he has to marry her because he thinks he will be sorted through her connections. Or a girl prays/fast/pretends or whatever she can do to get a rich guy to marry her because she doesn't want to be poor and therefore believes the guy will change her situation. There are also other cases where this NEED comes into place, where a guy/girl marries due to the need of pleasing society or getting pressure off their back. To some there is no issue in this but you must realise that the need is most often met and then you are faced with the reality of the person's character after they have fulfilled the need. Also you can be at the manipulative mercy of the person you need (unhealthy). I believe this may be the reason for the increase divorce rates because, you don't necessarily need what has been filled after it has been filled. Also your needs change as you mature, for this reason I believe you should marry your friend, they are there through thick and thin and often grow with you. You don't necessarily need your true friend for any reason but they just get you! and you genuinely love them not for any material reasons or validation.



The solution is never to expect a man(human being) to fill your need, cast ALL your cares/burden/need to God he cares! be in a relationship or marriage or friendship because you love the person and you enjoy their company. Don't get too smart here; to say need can be translated as love. Sometimes that's not true because you may not necessarily love or regard your parents but you need them to take care of you. Also it is unfair to manipulate someone to be with you, by providing all they need or trying to be their mother or father because you are just planting the seed of resentment or other means the person can get away from you 'cheating' maybe ?!.

Last point don't be the needful person/manipulator/high maintenance person. Throwing tantrums like a baby when you don't get your way or using your partner till you suck out all the attention/life from them and still not satisfied! God is the only being that can supply ALL your needs not MAN!